Hot Chile Peppers really are hot. I’m dumb.

When the directions caution you to “use copious amounts of soap” when washing your hands, you know those Peppas are H-O-T Hot! I mean, What the Hell?! Why am I so WHITE? I’d title this entry, “Dear White friends” if I didn’t think it’d piss off at least one of my brown friends, ha! But crap, I never knew the importance of soap and the non-touching-of-ones-eyes-and/or-nostrils when cooking with hot chile peppers. I mean, REAL chile peppers, like from Mexico real. Like the kind you have to look up on Google because you’re white enough to never have used them before. In anything. Ever.

FYI, there are a butt-load of peppers out there too. Who knew? Not only am I learning about the benefit of copious use of suds but I am also educating myself in the World of Peppers. Life goal. Met.

So normally I change a recipe I follow. I tweak amounts and flip flavors and all sorts of fun stuff to make something into my very own. That being said, hot chile peppers are not a toy kids. They are not to be played with or fussed about. Do what your directions say. Exactly. So mainly out of fear for my life, I actually found a recipe that sounded delish and followed it to the T. I give crazy mad props where they are due, so please copy, tag, like, post, follow, etc my new Hero, Linda Stradley at http://whatscookingamerica.net/Appetizers/salsaverde.htm

and seriously, check out her post with the recipe I used to burn my face off with the best friggin’ Salsa Verde eva!!

 

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Tomatillas! Coolest little guys ever
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diced tomatillas, tasted a raw one, a little bitter, but meh, we shall see…
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Hot Chile Peppers, broiled then washed, then chopped… and ew, my stove is naaaasssttyy!
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these are the chopped chiles, I used rubber kitchen gloves after I rubbed my nose. BTW, do not rub your nose.
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My beautiful Salsa Verde!!
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…with chips makes it look even prettier! Almost close enough to taste!! 😉

 

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Turning Brain Farts into Glitter!

So I’m hungry, surprise, surprise! The issue is all this healthy crap I have lying around. I. Want. Junk. Food. After opening the same cabinet forty-seven times and realizing nothing sweet is going to magically appear and jump into my belly, I seriously decide to make buttercream icing to dip grahams into. Um, yummy! Who does that?! I do! So at 2:30 in the freaking morning o’clock I whip up a batch of my go-to buttercream. All sorts of bad for ya stuff like Butter, mmm, and Powered Sugar, mmm, and Vanilla… wait, is Vanilla bad for you?? Note to self, Google, “Is Vanilla bad for you” end note to self… carrying on. After said icing is good and whipped, I go for the Honey Maid grahams and to my utter disappointment, there are none. Nada. Zilch. Big F-ing Zero! I mean, come on people! Where are my Graham Crackers?! What does a mommy have to do around here to get a freaking-A hit of some yummy-licious icing and grahams? Am I asking too much to be notified when these sort-of-a-cookie-sort-of-a-cracker like delicious treats are no more? Why oh why must I now be forced to finger-scoop my newly made icing?? Oh The Humanity!! Commence finger scooping.

I think I can, I think I can…

I’ve decided to blog. Yep. Me. I figured I’d put all my amazing vocabulary words to good use this way instead of wasting them on my Words With Friends app. Plus, it was either this or start bedazzling jean jackets like my mom did back in the 80’s… and don’t hate on my mom, she totally rocked the heck out of that rhinestone covered jean-wear! Love ya mom!

To be honest, I’m not really sure how to go about doing this though. Do I woo you just a little at a time until you’re completely enticed by my world, or do we just dive into my chaotic life and hope we both know how to swim?

Let’s start a little closer to today and then I will bob and weave all over the years with my baking and cooking and eating stories (so, ya, pretty much like any conversation you’ll experience with me). I do tend to ramble, so feel free to skim ahead when necessary. I also have a tendency to get “off track” when I remember another cool tid-bit of info you may be interested in (think, “Squirrel!”)  My hubby calls these my “commercial breaks” but somehow I always bring it back together in the end… even if it is two hours later! (this is where your extra need to scroll may come into play)

Shall we begin? Pictures with stories, my fav. I love pretty things, especially food!!

~Please note that the strategic placement of the Smart Water in the above photo is just that, strategy. Makes you think I’m a super-intelligent food connoisseur on a mission of greatness… clever, right? or just plain SMART?~